She sinks into it. The water is cool and comforting as it accepts and calms. Gently, stroke-by-stroke, she eases her way along the length of the pool. There are others around her, but this place totally absorbs her mind, making her calm and focused. In the water she is happy. She moves along and removes herself from life for those moments. She ceases to be woman, she ceases to be someone's mother, daughter, sister, friend or lover. She is. The water does not ask that she makes hard choices, she faces no dilemma as she swims up and down, length by length.
She glances at the clock – even time moves differently while she is in the water. She loves the way water feels on her body. It washes over all of her, it caresses her torso and laps at her toes and face. If you could slow it all down, perhaps you might even watch the drops of liquid running off her hands, her fingers as they make their way back to the pool... back to the whole.
She dreads the time when those worldly thoughts begin to re-enter her mind. She cannot seem to stop them, and if she allows them to fill her too much she knows she'll start to sink. The water will go over her head... she will sink into it as it graciously invites her in.
Sometimes she wonders what it would be like, to find that peace... to no longer be concerned with all the heart's entanglements... to never fear the return of the past... to not be anxious of how cruel people can be... to no longer wonder what might have been...
But she loves this world. She will never give it up. Even in the crushing agony of the world it is beautiful. Beauty, pain, passion, love... all so interwoven into her world view she can never let it go.
Beauty. Crave. Denial. Love. Pain. Loss. Regret.
Hope?
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